Friday, June 11, 2004

Life's funny, don't you think?

Right, so back to normal. All better. What happened?
I had some support from a friend or two. I got some great advice. I got an email from DBF that really quite hurt my overly emotional self and that about did it.
Poor guy, all he said was that he was having poker night tonight at his place (still hurts to say it, damn!), that it had been too long since he'd seen me and he was looking forward to Saturday, and some stuff about getting stuff done around his house. Yeah, so poker night, without me, ouch!

I still am in shock. I don't blame him and I certainly don't think he should cancel it or anything. But this is something I've been wanting to do, oh, since we met. AND, I'm the poker fiend, he's just getting into it more since we've been together. *sigh* They better not play for money or I really will be hurt. I also feel very excluded.
Then I think about it; what did I expect him to do while I was in class? Honestly, I thought he'd just do work around the house, get stuff done, you know, since he makes it seem like there is so much to be done all the time. I've made a point about not trying to take his friends away from him, so it's not that he's doing something with them, it's WHAT he's doing. They couldn't think of anything else to do?? I want to cry (oh wait, I sorta already did). Why do I feel so excluded by this?
It's really making me resent SCUBA, like SCUBA is what's taking me away from him AND poker night. Not to mention, that, while it is my bday gift (I asked for it), I do enjoy it, and I had thought of taking it before, I am taking it for his sake. I realize he doesn't think of it that way but the whole reason, the ONLY 2 reasons I asked for it, was a) to be with him when he wants to scuba, to be able to spend more time with him in a hobby he loves, b) and to keep me in the water since I was going to give up Schlitterbahn passes since he said he didn't like waterparks. (Of course he had the same idea but reverse, in that he gave up his hatred of waterparks so that I could have season passes, so only pay attention to (a).)


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